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The eldest son of FŽanor has entered the deep, dark, alluring pools of my dreams.
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I struggle violently as Morgoth’s servants try to hold my left wrist to the cliff so that they may lock an unbreakable chain to it. I use my free arm to attempt to slap the servant chaining me to the mountain in the face. The other servant used to hold me down catches my arm and forces it back down to my side. I groan and try to push past them with as much strength that I have left, but to no avail. I have naught the strength needed to overtake these creatures, for I was tortured beyond brutally before Morgoth decided to make a puppet of me. My struggles cease when one of the servants punches me harshly in the stomach while he mutters some curses in Black Speech at me. Meanwhile, the other bites my wrist so I will stop moving it away from the lock. The servant that punched me holds my shoulders back against the mountain wall. My back screams in protest, for it still is bleeding freely and small rocks and grass are beginning to mix with the blood as well as go inside the whip marks. As I last resort before the lock is closed I try to raise my aching leg to knee one of the servants anywhere so that they may let me go. But again to no avail. The lock has been closed.
I sigh and lower my head in defeat. The servants kick and punch me a few times before they leave for refusing to cooperate. I shake the chain a few times, in foolish hope that it will-by miracle-break. When this does not happen, I sigh again and look at my surroundings.
I see only mountains, trees, clouds, grass, and a faint image of a lake in the distance. You know, I think Morgoth cleared the trees that would have covered the lake from my view just to make me long for water. Bloody sadist. I also see some rocks-but what my eyes scan over next is something that I did not expect. An Elf. Here, chained to Thangorodrim, bound to the same fate as me.
This Elf surprises me, for it does not look like an average Elf. Odd. Wait, I know this Elf. I look closer and realize that I very well indeed know this Elf. Well, I mean not personally. But I could tell who it is anywhere. Male Elf, red hair, Thangorodrim: it is Maedhros. Wow, I did not expect to be meeting Maedhros here on Thangorodrim. This is indeed a pleasant surprise. We are stuck hanging here together, remarkable. I wish to ask him so many questions.
Alas! I cannot, for he is sleeping-so peacefully I might add. Well, peaceful enough for hanging here for the past eight years. At least I have something good to look while I am here, as opposed to the boring landscape and repeated smoke that comes from Morgoth’s tower in the far distance. This will not be entirely dreadful.
Maedhros is really…. handsome. How long I stared at him before I even noticed that it began to rain, I know not. Rain. Fantastic. Now I get to hang and be soggy. Just great. When it started to rain, Maedhros awoke. His eyes open slowly as he looks up to the sky. I continue to watch him with fascination. The way the rain washes away the dirt from his face, the way his hair is turning from red to a red-brown; it is all so very interesting, the way his skin-Ah! Stop doing that Fei! You sound like a stalker! I almost thought he would not notice me ogle at him, but he did indeed. His brown eyes narrowed and he parts his lips, as if to speak. When no words come out, he clears his throat. This makes me smile. Aw, at a loss of words, Maedhros? You probably have not seen another being in years, let alone actually speak to one. Instead of talking, he turns to the sky again, opens his mouth wide, and begins to drink the rain. Ew, who drinks rain? That was unexpected. Oh, wait! This is the only water I am getting for a long time, so I better drink up while I can! I do the same as he does for a while.
Why do I feel like a complete idiot? Eh, oh well. If Maedhros is doing the same, then sure, why not, why not drink rain like an idiot?
When the rain stops, I now look over to my right and see Maedhros smiling at me. He has a nice smile.
“Did you enjoy the rain? It is the only drink of water you will have for quite a while after this day.” He says, still smiling.
“Yes…did you?” I say trying not to sound to awe-struck at hearing his voice.
“Aye, that was the first rain this month. Perhaps you have brought me good luck.”
I laugh, “I would not assume that, Maedhros, I am not at all good luck. I am bad luck.”
His eyes brows pull to together, “You know my name? And I know not yours?”
“Oh, well, my real name is Maggie but I like to go by Fei.”
“Fei.” He repeats. It sounds so cool when he says it. “ ’Tis a pleasure to meet you, Fei. You are the first person that I have spoken too in nearly five years. Remarkable, is it not?”
“Indeed that it is. I thought that I would never get the chance to meet you.”
“Why do you say that? I am not going anywhere.” He says, lightly pulling the chain around his right wrist.
“Most assume that you are dead. That is why I am here. Your brothers sent me here as a scout to see if you were still alive. All would have gone well, if it were not that I was caught, tortured, and hung here.” I lower my voice before continuing, “Just between you and me, Morgoth knows naught about why I am here. As far as he knows, I am just a human that stumbled onto his land at the wrong time. Shh!”
Maedhros smiles again, “Ah, yes. If he knew that you were a scout from my brothers, he would presume that you were not looking for me, but to see what army he has brought together to kill them with. That would lead to another war. That would not be good at all. Not now.” His smile disappears as he lowers his eyes to look at the ground. There is a long silence and during which I find that I am extremely worn out. My eyelids begin to slowly cover my eyes and I lean my head to my shoulder.
Ow, that does not feel pleasant.
I try to lean my head back to the rocks behind it but that does not suite it anymore than my shoulder did. Maedhros laughs at this, and there is a hint of hysteria in it. My eyes open and I glare at him.
“Fear not, Fei. You will get the ‘hang’ of it sooner or later,” He pauses for a another fit of laughter before continuing, “The first night is the worst. But perhaps I can help you. Does your chain extend long enough so that you may put your head on my shoulder?” He asks, trying to take a step closer to me but his leg gives out at the sudden movement from being stiff for so long. He stumbles a bit to regain posture, for he cannot fall to the ground with tearing his arm off. I try to reach my free arm out to catch him but my fingers barely graze his arm. He stands, puts his hair behind his ears, and tries to hug the wall of Thangorodrim to get as close to me as possible. I easily take a few steps towards him and he scowls at this. When both of our chains are extended to as long as they can go, Maedhros reaches out his hand to touch me. I would have expected him to touch my arm or hand or something but I am surprised when his fingers trace down my cheek slowly. His hand is still a bit wet from the rain and is extremely cold.
“I have not felt the warmth of another’s touch in so long.” He whispers, closing his eyes.
I think he is still a bit woozy from walking. Maybe I should give him a moment…Nah.
“Your hand is cold.” I reply, unthinkingly.
“Thank you.” He says, frostily. His fingers run along my jaw and down my neck.
Okay, this is getting creepy. I understand that he has not touched someone in a very long time, but we just met. I am getting a bit frightened. Is this just because I happen to be a girl? Oh well.
“Hey, Maedhros. Could you stop that? Please?” I ask as calmly as possible.
His eyes open and he realizes what he is doing.
“Oh, my apologies.” He replies, removing his fingers and shifting so I may rest my head on his shoulder. I smile when he allows me to lightly push his hair over his shoulder.
“You must grow tired of hearing this, but I really love your hair; it is such a captivating colour, Maedhros. You are very lucky.”
He looks puzzled and amused by this, “Actually, most Elves and Humans think it is such an odd colour for an Elf to have that they assume that I am an abnormal sorcerer. It also helped in the suspicion that I just-so-happen to be an FŽanorian. I find it to be rather amusing, really. To have mortals scream and run when they look upon you; that is always a good laugh. You are the first other than my mother to actually like it.”
I laugh, “Screaming and running? You jest Maedhros.”
Maedhros smiles, “I am quite serious. If we do not die while hanging here, I will show you.”
“Alright. I will hold you to that.” I say, placing my cheek to his shoulder. At first I am bit stiff, for the only way for me to get comfortable is if I would be allowed to lean against Maedhros. But I do not think I be allowed too. Noticing this, Maedhros puts his free arm around my waist and pulls me closer to him. I awkwardly spin my free arm around his waist. Although his robes are faded, it must have once been a fine looking red and gold colour. I close my eyes and quickly fall into a long-needed rest.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~Day One of my Hanging~

I open my eyes to see strands of red. I groan when I cannot feel my legs, arms, neck, or back. I notice that Maedhros’ head is leaning against the top of mine own. Interesting.
If were to make a move to straiten, I would wake him and I cannot do that, he must be terribly tired after all of these years. I groan again when I discover the huge headache that I have. I then realize that I have nothing to do and will have nothing to do for quite some time. Well, that is going to help my headache out a whole lot. I sigh and look around. Great, now I am stuck with this extra torment. Fantastic. When I sighed, Maedhros abruptly woke up, let go of me, moved away, and looked around cautiously. I gasp and try to stead my self from falling to the ground from this sudden movement. I grimace when my neck snaps strait. Ouch, that does not feel good!
“Ow…” I say rubbing my sore neckline.
“Oh, my apologizes Fei!” Maedhros says, reaching his arm out to steady me. “I forgot that you were here with me for a moment. You know, not having someone to talk for a long while makes a person a little more cautious when someone is with him out of the blue. Especially when they are leaning on you, sleeping. I hope I did not hurt you.”
“Fear not, Maedhros. I understand. I am not hurt. You just scared me, is all.”
Maedhros nods and there is a long silence. Well, he is not going anywhere so you might as well as start asking him questions that you have been dying too.
I clear my throat, “Hey, Maedhros…may I ask you a few questions?”
“Be my guest.”
“How…old are you?”
He chuckles at this, “I am 2,518 years old.”
“Valar! You are young! I thought you would be older,” I thought about this a moment.
“Wait, how can you only be 2,518 years old? You have seven brothers.”
“We were born close in age. I am only 30 years older than Maglor. And he is about 28 years older then Celegorm. Celegorm is 22 years older then Caranthir and so on.”
I increased the throbbing headache by trying to figure out all of the brothers’ ages.
“Ah…to much math. My head hurts.” I pause for a moment to rub my head, “Everything hurts Maedhros. My brain hurts, my eyes hurt, my arm hurts, my legs hurt, my back hurts,” I whined. “I am hungry and thirsty and confused. Help me Maedhros. Ani ettulta. Alassenyan.”
His eyes light up, “QuetilyŽ Eldarin?”
“Nay. That is all I know how to say other than ‘Hello’ and ‘Farwell’. Leave it to me to learn how to complain in Quenya.”
More silence. Oh, this is going to be just great.
“What are some of the other questions you wished to ask me?”
I rack my brain for the questions I had thought up when I was trying to fall asleep.
“Oh, why are FŽanorians hated so much?”
“Well, my father was thought mad and we started kin-slaying.”
“Oh. This may seem a bit stupid, but how do you have red hair?”
“My mother’s father had red hair.”
“So, you are not the only red-head?”
“No.” He says, smiling.
“Do you have a wife? Children?”
His smile fades and he rolls his eyes at his, “Who would honestly want to marry me? I am bound to the Oath of FŽanor and because of that I have killed my own kin.”
I am a bit frightened by his harsh tone, “Oh…right. Apologies. Why did you take the Oath of FŽanor?”
“He was my father. I am his oldest son. I had too. It would be dishonorable to refuse.”
Maedhros looks to his chain, to the tower of Morgoth, to the sky, and then to the ground.
“What was your relationship with your father? What was he like?”
“FŽanor. How so I even begin to explain you, Adar?” He smiles and looks to the sky again, “As you already may know, he was a great speech maker. He could make you believe anything – no matter how crazy it sounded.”
“Like the Oath of FŽanor?”
“Aye. Like the Oath of FŽanor.”
“Go on. What was he like?”
“He was a great father before Morgoth took the Silmarils. But, losing the Silmarils caused him to go mad. That was when Naneth could not control him. There was something about those stones that captivated him. They…possesed him. He would spend hours watching them. He loved them more then he loved us, his family. You could never talk to him and when you could you would have to be very careful when choseing your words in frount of him. He beat Curufin once for talking back to him in a rude mannor. It was so terrifiying to watch. My brother so helpless…I tried to coerce Adar off of him but he slaped me and continued choking Curufin. For some reason he never really liked Curufin. You see, I was his favorite because -- not only was I his first born but because -- I did everything that he asked -- never said no -- and I looked over my brothers for him. Why did I say never say no? I was afraid of him. I took his place when it came to being there for my brothers. He was never home and when he would come home, it would only be to sleep. Well, all of that was before he went mad. I still remember what he was like before that. He was a caring, likeable, honorable, and witty. I miss the old him greatly.”
I stand in silence for a while with no words to reply to Maedhros with. I look over him and see that one single tear falls down his face.
I decide to give him a few moments of respective silence. The silence continues, so I begin trying to write my name, pushing rocks in the formation of letters with my foot. I got to the ‘N’ before Maedhros was ready to answer more questions.
“What is your favorite colour?”
“Blue.”
“Favorite rock?”
“Obviously not the one we are chained too.”
“Favorite word?”
“Comuppence.”
“Favortive food?”
“I do not have one. Look Fei, I have ansered all of your questions and you have answered none of mine.”
I hesitate, “Alright, shoot.”
“I mean you no offence, but why did my brothers sent you, a human girl, to ‘rescue’ me?”
“I was the only person the Morgoth would not recognize. He despises Elves, remember?”
“Good point. Hmm…what is your favorite colour?”
“Gr-” I am interupted by the sound of my stomach growling. Nuts.
Just thinking about nuts is making me hungry. And I have never cared for nuts. Oh, this is terrible. I forgot; I have not eaten in nearly three days. Maedhros begins to laugh hysterically. Well, until he begins to choke, that is. After Maedhros’ fit of laughter he quiets.
“What was that all about?”
“I have not eaten food in months.”
“What? Are you serious? Months? That cannot be a fact, Maedhros. You lie; you must be joking. You could not have surived without food for months.”
“Do you doubt me? Elves do not need to eat food as much as humans.”
“But…MONTHS?!”
Maedhros laughs at this, “Morgoth sends his servants to taunt me with bread or some sort of food or water every four months or so.”
“Valar, I will not be able to survive.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~Day Ten of my Hanging~

YavanniŽ 24, F.A. 5
[September 24, F.A. 5]

5:00 P.M. ~

You know, I am getting rather used to the ‘hanging’ busness. I sleep most of the day to regain strength (for I often feel like fainting), I drink when it rains, I smell nausating, I have not eaten at all, I am often victim to headaches – everything seems to be going well. Maedhros and I have become good friends while hanging here. He rather likes my crazy, sarcastic, random hummor. Why, just yesturday, I was singing ‘Show Toons’. There is no hope of getting free from here, I know we will not survive. I have always feared a long, pitifully slow, painful death – and I have gotten one, lucky me!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~Week 2 of my Hanging~

[Uh…sometime in NarqueliŽ]
3:00 AM~

I laugh hysterically along with Maedhros as we dance around as much as our chains will allow, singing at the top of my lungs, “I’VE GOT A LOVELY BUNCH OF COCONUTS/ AND THEIR ALL SITTING IN A ROW/ SMALL ONES, BIG ONES/ SOME AS BIG AS YOUR HEAD!”
He is signing something of an ‘Elvish Bar Tune’. I knew not Elves had bars! Alas! I learn something new everyday! HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE! I AM SO SMART! WATCH OUT EINSTEIN! HERE COMES FEI!! HEE HEE! MUHAHAHA!
“THE SUN WILL COME OUT…” I pause to gather enough to spit to shout the last lyric, “TOMORROW!!” I kick my sore leg up as high as I can and wave my arms like a mad man. I bet from Morgoth’s tower, Maedhros and I look like a pair of crazy pigeons.
“VALAR! We have gone completely crazy, Ar-feiniel! I LOVE it! ElŽ!” Maedhros shouts, reaching out his long left arm to pat my shoulder repeatedly.
“I LOVE YOU; YOU LOVE ME/ LET’S…. UH …WHAT’S THE NEXT LYRIC?! OH WELL! THERE IS SOMETHING/ THAT I SEE IN YOU/ IT MIGHT KILL” I made sure to give major emphasis on ‘kill’ before continuing in my wild singing, “MEEEEE/ I WANT IT TO BE…. TRUE!!”
“Yť! Ńva fara an perestaniŽ; tuluva lyenna! La la! Eru, AmŽ ettulta! An aira ar eleni!” Maedhros shouts in Quenya beyond my comprehension to translate. I know naught of Quenya! He could by cursing to my face for all I know! Is that not MARVELOUS, darling?! Hee hee hee hee…
“IT’S FUN TO STAY AT THE Y. M. C. A.!”

---

5:12 A.M. ~

Now that Maedhros and I are done our reckless dancing, we lean thoughtfully against the ugly yellowish, greenish, brownish, rock pondering who will die first.
“Well, you ARE the ELF! Of course I will die first, I am the PUNY human!”
“No, no! I have been hanging here for EIGHT years, I will die first!”
“You lie! I shall be the one to die first! And when I do, you will have to resort to cannibalism!”
“What is ‘cannibalism’?”
“Oh, it is when someone eats someone else… I am the poor weak HUMAN! I am SO going to die first, Maedhros. Just watch!”
He cackles uncontrollably, “Are you going to bet money on that?”
After having a fit of laughter, “Nay, I will bet my LIFE!”
“HA HA HA HA!”


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~One month into my Hanging~

[Sometime during the last week of NarqueliŽ]

12:32 P.M. ~

I open my eyes to see strands of red, such a familiar sight to see in the middle of an October day. I sigh and nudge Maedhros awake.
“Hey, Maedhros. Do you honestly think we could make it? You know, survive? Do you think someone will find us?”
“Valar, Fei. You worry too much; of course we can make it. Just believe in that once in a while, Harya estel nin. I grow weary of the same question every time you ask me that before sleeping because you think you will die in your sleep.”
“Easy for you to say; you are immortal!”
“Not this again. Please, can we think positively today?”
“Uh…no.”
Maedhros rolls his eyes, “Hmm…today is the last day in NarqueliŽ, is it not?”
“Aye, that it is. What does it matter though?”
“It means that it has been four months since Morgoth’s servants last brought me something to eat; that could mean there are coming here again. That could mean food! Food, Fei! Would that not be delightful?”
“Only if you do not say ‘delightful’ again.”
Maedhros lets out his first non-hysterical laugh in a long time and kisses my forehead.
“You know what I mean.”
“Of course I do, mellon nin. I just feel like jesting with you today.”
I heave a sigh and scan the valley that I have seen nearly a million times once more. I shield Anor from stinging my eyes and squint in the blinding light.
“It appears my eyesight is failing.” I say, unhappily. Maedhros taps my shoulder to get my attention, he holds up a few fingers.
“How many fingers am I holding up?”
“Three. I am not an idiot, Maedhros. I can count and see a foot away from me.”
“Just checking.”
“No I know.”
There is a long silence. Of course, it is always quiet up here. I sigh and rub my aching head.
“Oh, what I would give for drugs. Medicine drugs, I mean.”
“Oh, what I would give to see my brothers again.”
I am mildly surprised by this. “You miss your brothers?”
Maedhros sighs, “Yes. They were the only people I ever really talked to. You know, the whole hating FŽanorians thing. Well, other then you. You are the first human I have ever had a real conversation with.”
“And I will probably be the last.”
“Nay Fei, I will not allow you to get doubtful today. We are going to be hopeful today and be ‘we’ I mean you.”
“Oh, so you are the only one that can be cynical?”
Maedhros places his hands on his hips, raises to his full height, and smirks at me. Grr… why does he have to be so tall and powerful?
“Why, yes, Aredhel Ar-feiniel, AKA Fei, I, as near High King of the Noldor command you to be confident.” He says in a deep, wise, powerful voice. I can only assume that he uses this voice when making speeches. I cringe and nod feebly in response. Maedhros was both surprised and satisfied with my response. He breaks out into a merry laugh and shrinks back against the wall of Thangorodrim smiling from ear to ear.
“So, what were your brothers like?” I ask, recalling that he missed his brothers when his smile fades and things go quiet.
“Where to begin,” He ponders this for a moment, “Well, Maglor was a great singer as you may already know. He could cheer you up or cause you grief by his songs; he had that great of a talent in singing. He was kind, quiet, and wise; he would make a great father. He was more ‘technical’ then any of my other brothers. He was basically the ‘brain’ of the family and we all respected him for that. Celegorm was your typical ‘ladies man’. He had the looks, the personality -- everything. Curufin and I used to tease him for that.” He smiles at the memory, “Celegorm also had a dry, sarcastic sense of humor, but it was hilarious when it made sense. He had a laid back, outgoing personality. But he would get arrogant sometimes when he was reminded of his good looks. Caranthir was our rebel. I remember Ada and him getting into verbal fights a lot because Caranthir was the only one brave enough of us to talk to him about the Silmarils. He was the kind or person that…if he saw something wrong, he would not hesitate to speak up about it and fix it – I loved that about him. He was brilliant but withdrawn; he was always on his own when it came to when he was growing up, and he always preferred being alone. That always puzzled me about him; someone who was courageous and outspoken…prefers to be alone? Curufin was very crafty; He would sneak around the house and in the forest playing pranks on us. He had a great mind for inventing. He would spend hours in his room – shared with Celegorm – ‘inventing’ things. And he was really good at it. I remember this one time; he invented this new, light, easier-to-wield blade for Elflings to train with. His design was brilliant! The only down side to Curufin was that he had a temper. But unlike Ada’s, he was quick to anger but also as quick to forgive. Amrod and Amras were the twins and the youngest, but together were amazing comedians and hunters. Although they were young in age, they could out-arch me any day! They could also bring anyone to bliss with their light, cheery personalities, and random sense of humor. But they could get discouraged just as easily. You know, having five brothers to look up to and compare too. They spent most of their time together rather then with the rest us – like Caranthir -- because Celegorm and Curufin would tease them for begin so young and ‘cute’. Maglor and I would often have to run into the forest after them to bring them back to their merry selves. But that just made them stronger and braver hunters. So you could almost say that helped them grow up. Although, all seven of us were very different, there was something that brought us together and made us a great band of brothers collectively. I honestly miss my family. I wish I could be with them again. That is my last wish – to see them before I perish on this mountain. That is what I hope for, Ar-feiniel, that is what keeps me going. My brothers. I need to be with them -- to protect them…”
I have a newfound respect for Maedhros. I no longer see him as that beautiful, witty
Elf that I get to hang with -- but I now see his inner beauty. That deep down inside he misses and grieves for other people rather then himself instead of whining about being stuck to a rock -- like I do. He would do anything for his brothers – he would hang here for thousands of years to save them from harm. He loves his family with all of his heart – and now I see that.
I am awestruck by this new side of Maedhros and I honestly cannot respond to him for a few minutes, for my mouth is hanging open. Maedhros shifts his eyes from scanning the mountains in the distance and looks to me. He smiles and waits until I can speak.
“You talk about all of your brothers so…highly. I had no idea you felt that way…”
He only nods. “But you did not tell me what you see yourself as.”
“What do you see in me? What am I like to you?” He asks, curious.
I ponder this for a while before coming up with the perfect response, “I see you as the family-type. You feel very protective of them – and I respect you for that. You are wise and witty. You can lead an army any day and do it well, but you would at the same time be that caring, funny, gentle, patient father. You have leader qualities, but I do not think you see them. You are very self-sacrificing and obedient.” I show him this by shaking my chain, “You are the kind of person that does not say ‘No’ very often when it comes to be asked of something. You can also see good in others when no one else can; your father is the perfect example. You are very loyal and trusting. At first meeting you are sort of shy but you soon give in to the conversation and end up doing most of the talking. That is what I see in you, pen-dond.”
Maedhros is beaming beyond words when I finish. Anor shinning on him adds to the magnificence of how he looks when the sun illuminates him. His dark brown eyes light up mysteriously and he gets this somewhat grin-smirk look. He looks at me carefully.
I cannot help to ask, suddenly feeling self-conscious, “What?”
“You are admiring me.”
My mouth drops open and I feel my self turning a deep red, “What! No! Why would I…” I pause when Maedhros his eyebrows and folds his un-bound arm across his chest. “…H-How can you tell?” I say lowering my head in defeat.
“Your eyes sparkle mysteriously and you get this cute smile.”
If I could punch him, I would. Unfortunately my arm does not extend as long as his does; bloody 6’5-ness.
“Okay, fine. You caught me. You look amazing in sunlight, all right?” I admit, uncomfortably kicking a few rocks.
Maedhros laughs at this, but his cheer is cut short when we hear footsteps approaching. They are that of Morgoth’s servants. FOOD!!


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~Month Two of my Hanging~

7 HŪsimŽ, F.A. 5
[The 7th of November, First Age 5]

Now that I have some energy from the stale bread and some weird mud-tasting wine something-or-other drink Morgoth’s servants gave us a few days back, Maedhros and I had another grieve-riddance crazy dancing session. During which I sang Evanescence songs, Linkin Park songs, Three Days Grace songs, and anything else random I could think of like, “We are Family”. Now that I have had all of this time up here to: become great friends with Maedhros and really reflect on my life, I find myself missing my family more then I ever have before. Several times while Maedhros was sleeping I actually felt myself getting…emotional…I tried my best to kept it from Maedhros but, I actually let a few silent tears for my family spill out of my burning eyes. It felt…refreshing…


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~Month Two, Week Two of my Hanging~

15 HŪsimŽ, F.A. 5
[The 15th of November, First Age 5]

3:00 P.M.~

My health is failing. I find it so difficult to stay standing and awake. I keep trying to tell Maedhros that my time has come, but he refuses to believe that. He says that he went through that phase, and that I will get through it. But I think that is because he refuses to grasp the fact that I am dying.

---

At this moment, I am leaning my head on Maedhros’ shoulder. He is softly singing an Elvish lullaby while stroking my hair.
Suddenly, Maedhros stopped singing and cried out. He taped brutally on my back, causing my to snap awake.
“What?! What is it, Maedhros?!”
I look up to him and see the most wild of all expressions. I follow his eyes to something below the side of the precipice. I look over it a see a blurry figure, climbing. VALAR!
Seeing this, Maedhros pushes me away from him, bursts into tears, and cries out, “FINGON!”
I regain my balance and stand upright. A savior? AT LAST!!
The elf that Maedhros called Fingon climbs higher so that he may get closer to us, but stops when he realizes that the mountain to now to steep to climb; He looks up to Maedhros and weeps when he sees him in this torment. Fingon does not notice that I am here too, for I must be blocked from his view by a rock or something.
“What have they done to you, Maedhros?” Fingon calls.
“Too much -- I want it to be over, Fingon! Please, end my life. There is no way you can save me now.”
I am terribly baffled by this. Maedhros…is…suicidal? And he did not…say anything to me about it? I push the thought out of my mind and continue to watch the scene before my eyes.
More tears flood from Fingon’s bright blue eyes, “Nay, I refuse to believe that! I can save you! I will save you! Harya estel nin!” Fingon shouts, making a feeble attempt to climb the steep mountain in desperate hope to save us. When he slides back down he curls into a ball -- and with shaking hands, and reaches for his bow.
“Please Fingon! Release me from this torment! I beg you! This is all I ask; shoot me!”
Has Maedhros forgotten me completely? When Maedhros said ‘shoot me’ a terrible gust of bone-chilling cold wind gusted by us. Wow, this is a very dramatic sight.
Fingon: Bow raised, tear-stained face, black hair blowing dramatically in the raging wind.
Maedhros: Soiled, tear-stained face, dark red hair blowing dramatically in the wind, pulls at his chain with all of his might.
Me: Freezing cold, shriving, hair blowing in my face, watching horrific sight before me, with my eyes wide and mouth open.
This is all happening to fast, I fear I will blink and miss it.
“MAEDHROS! WAIT!” I call out.
Maedhros turns to me and takes my hand in his. He gives me a faint smile and squeezes my hand gently.
“Fei, there is nothing he can do for us – this is best for us…”
I am scared by this – beyond any words that you can come up with. Completely and utterly scared -- to death. I have never given much thought on how I was going to die. Now that it is actually happening, I can hardly think at all. My mind is filling with all of the happy moments and memories I had on Earth as well as here with Maedhros. Maedhros wants to give up; after all of that time he spent with me, trying to make me think that we will make it. Only to chicken out when someone comes by with a bow. And the funny thing is -- I am chickening out too. I guess people where right when they say that your life flashes before your eyes before you die. I have lost my voice completely. Something inside me is screaming to stop this. Stopping. This can all be over, Fei. All you have to do is say something. SAY SOMETHING!! ANYTHING!! YOU CAN TAKE ALL OF THIS AWAY, FEI! YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DIE! I grudgingly silence it – I choke the voice screaming, fighting to get out in my throat. You bloody coward. That is all you have ever been, afraid to die.
I look to Maedhros again for a final reassurance. He smiles and his beautiful brown eyes shine with light and hope.
He was positive -- even in death…
Fingon cries to the heavens before knocking an arrow into the string of his bow. I close my eyes and pretend this is all a terrible dream. I dreadful, horrible dream, that I am soon to wake up from; I open my eyes and the scene is the same, I feel tears of my own escaping my eyes.
I am going to die.
“As you wish.” I hear Fingon whisper.
I look to Maedhros one last time before closing my eyes to prepare for the arrow that will decide my life or death….

The End.

I think…
Chapter End Notes:
I am still debating on whether or not to make an actual story out of this or just leave it as a cliffhanger (Ha ha! Terrible pun!) reviews are most helpful in my thought processes and decision making. I’m sorry but I am rather proud of my portrayal of Maedhros and his brothers. Do you like it? Well, just tell we what you think. I am totally fine with criticism. Anyway…Thank you for reading! ~Fei.
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