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Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: jing Signed
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Date: May 29 2018 01:51 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: jeje222 Signed
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Date: May 24 2018 01:19 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: jeje222 Signed
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Date: May 22 2018 02:11 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: jeje222 Signed
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Date: May 22 2018 01:54 am [Report This]
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Date: May 06 2018 10:29 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: YYY66 Signed
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Date: Nov 12 2015 12:36 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: ty2012 Anonymous
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Date: Oct 28 2015 02:07 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Farawein Signed
Not to be too critical, but I suggest using more detail in describing the scene, like explaining what Legolas' new room looks like. And there are many holes in this story, like how Thranduil went from cold and abusive to loving, and putting Legolas up to adoption. This is a good plot, and I like the premises, you just need to connect the lines with setting, description, and use of emotions.
Try to make the characters' emotions reach out to the readers. make them feel the emotions as if it were from their own heart.
I hope i'm making sense to you.
Date: Aug 11 2011 07:34 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: So Yun Signed
Mmm...this seems way too casual and colloquial for a Tolkien story sorry. You seem to have rather large gaps in your story and if you can't spell, learn to!
Some pointers:
Learn some elvish, sindarin mostly if you're going to write fanfiction.
Have traditional or made up names, I hardly think Rebeka is an elvish name.
Do no use colloquial language, such as: "Don't" or "Ass" it ruins the flow of the story completely.
I know this is your first but please let someone else read over before you post it...
Yun
Date: Dec 23 2007 04:47 pm [Report This]
Title: Arrival Reviewer: darksaphire Signed
...this story...there seems to be a lack of details
Date: Sep 16 2006 10:31 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: pippinrocks Signed
great i wonder what happens to the babies
Date: Nov 29 2005 12:07 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Jedi_Bant Signed
Very good fic. Please update soon. Will Legolas go back to Mirkwood to see his brothers and sisters? lov Jedi_Bant
Date: Oct 10 2004 03:35 am [Report This]
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