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Ooh, who is he? I like the suspense!
typos: "lay him"; the commas in "understand, why" and "confused, who" and "frightened, how"; missing comma: "your voice, Luthien,"; "love and longing flow out"; "he move"; "corradors"
Author's Response: Thanks, I will try harder!
This is a great start. The typos I see in this section are "Ihad", "prepard" "stay out notice" and "who I saw". You have my deep grammatical admiration for using lay correctly *fawning*.
Author's Response: Thanks for the info! *Don't ever use school computers to check spelling!*
This was so beautiful. Even though the chapters are short, they mean so much. I'm sorry that I haven't reviewed this in a while...I actually didn't know that this was up. Anyway, I hope that you will add more soon! ~God bless
Author's Response: Sorry I haven't been on. I heve had an - interesting experience.
Yay you posted more! *does a little dance* I really love this story; and I also really love your writing style. Wonderful work...please add more soon! ~God bless
Author's Response: Thanks, I am trying to write one chapter a day!
Good start! More soon?
Author's Response: I am trying to write a chapter a day. Though I think I chose a bad day to start! Yesterday I was at the hospital, and unable to get to the computer!
Oh! I really like this! Please continue; I'm adding this to my favorites! ~God bless
Author's Response: Thanks! I am honored to be added to someones favorites!