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Reviewer: Kingsdaughter Signed [Report This]
Date: 06/03/12 - 05:03 am Title: Chapter 1

Wow, this is a good story! However, there might be one thing I'd change. You used the word 'causing' quite often. Perhaps you could cut this word our a little. For example, when Aragorn stabs the goblin in the neck, instead of "...causing warm black blood to drench..." you might want, "...forced it into the goblin's neck. Black blood still warm from its flesh drenched his chest and face." But great job! I was never bored reading this.

Reviewer: Karlmir Stonewain Signed [Report This]
Date: 12/12/10 - 12:03 am Title: Chapter 1

Good battle scene. I have just one criticism, however. Aragorn carried a large dagger strapped to his belt just below his back with the hilt pointing to his right for quick access in a fight. He carried a slightly smaller dagger in his right boot. He also carried a utility knife in a sheath hanging from his belt in front. It too could serve as a weapon in a pinch. A ranger would never keep a dagger in his pocket.

Author's Response: when i think about it now it sounds so stupid i'll change it ! Don't know what I was thinking!

Reviewer: Masked Signed [Report This]
Date: 09/12/10 - 05:02 am Title: Chapter 1

Like it, very well-written battle. And detailed: "Blood sprayed all over the ground." =)
The one thing you could improve on is spacing out the paragraphs. It would be easier to read that way.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I will space it more which hopefully will make it easier to read !

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