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Title: A first approach Reviewer: NessaMahtar Signed
Ahh!! So cute!!
One thing though with your dialogue, each time there is a new person speaking it should be "entered"
For example your ending dialogue:
"Will I see you tomorrow?" he asked carefully, gathering his courage.

Gilraen raised an eyebrow and looked at him amusedly. "Will you and your father not have to visit some relatives tomorrow.

"Tomorrow morning", he confirmed. "Why can we not meet tomorrow afternoon?"

"That will hardly be possible", she answered sadly. "The whole settlement will see us."

All that UNLESS you wanted the dialogue to be like this for the style of the story, which I am all for, just try and make it a little less confusing when there are the back-and-forth confrontations such as the last paragraph.

but other than that- capital work! Very unique and fresh. Well done!
Date: Jul 27 2010 08:45 am [Report This]
Title: Father and son Reviewer: NessaMahtar Signed
Very intriguing! Everyone has their own secrets and don't know about the other person.
What a good father Arador is!
Date: Jul 27 2010 08:39 am [Report This]
Title: At first sight Reviewer: NessaMahtar Signed
Very good. I look forward to more chapters in the future! =)
Date: Jul 10 2010 07:11 am [Report This]
Title: A fateful visit Reviewer: NessaMahtar Signed
I like the Tolkien-style you write in. Very matter-of-factly.
Date: Jul 10 2010 07:09 am [Report This]
Title: Home again Reviewer: NessaMahtar Signed
Very unique! I have never read a FanFiction about Arathorn before! Original, and it moves along nicely. Looking forward to Chapter two! =)
Date: Jul 08 2010 03:37 pm [Report This]
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