awwwwwwwwwww why< should we suffer from your english???
so wonderful written glorfindel really loves erestor but this poor elve is full of fear and is afraid...aww i wonder how glorfindel will show erestor how much he loves him..please post more soon..i really lovge your story
Author's Response: Well, I was just referring to my obvious lack of knowledge with the elven language. x'D But thank you for the comment! And don't worry, I'll post more.
Nice to see you're still working on this, Silver. :)
You have a love of description - and honestly, who can resist describing the beauty of the Elves? d;-)
I like the way you put your sentences together - I am just surprised it took you a long time to gather the courage to post anything, but I hope now you have taken the plunge you will continue.
Lol, you left it with a cliffie! How cruel! :D
Author's Response: Once again, thank you very much. I had hoped to post a new chapter sooner, but I've been terribly busy. Hopefully, now that I have a bit of time on my hands, I'll be able to write quicker. Anyway, thanks for the encouragement and comments! <3
Definitely interesting! So Erestor has a deep, dark secret?
Your Erestor is so edgy and has kept away from others for so long - he seems deeply traumatized and unlikely to just 'get over it' - that poor Glorfindel probably really has his work cut out for him.
I look forward to reading more.
It's so nice to see some-one who has been around on the site for a while post their first story. It takes a lot of nerve, I know, but this is a good site, since people are generally very friendly and encouraging.
You have a nice flow going, and so definitely keep on writing. Your dialogue is generally good, that is, it does not sound modern. This one sentence: Oh, my friend, do not be mad. I meant no illness toward you in our short argument: I think you mean 'Do not be angry, I meant no harm.' words, like mad, to get mad=angry, are quite modern, as mad really means insane, I feel an Elf would say 'angry' and use the word mad in it's proper context. Sure, he had insisted, it will be energetic and noisy. Sure also sounds modern, and I would probably not have used it, maybe something like. Yes, he had admitted, it will be energetic and noisy.
You also have some lovely phrases, however, which more than counterbalance those two little bits of what I think of as 'modern'. This passage,
With that soft, almost seductive phrase, he turned and disappeared into the archway, his golden form swallowed by the darkness of the passage like a flame is snuffed out in the night. Erestor felt very strange without him near, as if the very light of the world had disappeared. That's a very nice paragraph of how Glorfindel appears to Erestor. I love emotional descriptions of that sort.
I wanted to leave a comment to tell you you should be pleased with your first story and to keep on with it. :)
You also favorited me as an author, so I am taking this opportunity to thank you.:)
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the helpful hints! I've read so many of your stories, and I can truthfully say that any advice you give is greatly appreciated. I've finally summoned the courage to post a story, and to have writers like you comment me is a great privilege. I'm glad you took the time to read it, and that you liked it! Thank you so much for your encouraging words, and especially your advice. It will help me a great deal! --Silver
Hello Silvermoon, and welcome! I believe you have done an excellent job with this piece, and no one would ever know this is your first story! Your descriptions are flawless, and they draw you right into the scene with the characters, and your description of Glorfindel is one of the better I have read. Quite nicely done, and I would certainly encourage you to continue! Best wishes, Erullisse
Author's Response: Thanks for the comment! I'm glad that you took the time to read it, even though I'm not well-known, and it was a first-time piece. Your words are much-appreciated encouragement! --Silver