"I also spend quite some time trying to expand the light conversation between Legolas and Iris, but I can't find the right tone anymore."
May I offer some tips out of my own conversation with Legolas? (though he never got to answer them, we were disturbed by some horrific orcs...), so here it goes:
In regard to Elves ears, there's something I was wondering, Are they able to move "on hinge" (you know, like cats ears), or are they "fixed" like ours but simply tipped instead of rounded at the top?
As for that "alabaster" skin of theirs (see numerous stories), is it sensitive to sun burns? I mean the white-skin among us get to either burn, or else be enslaved to lotions, how is it that their warriors spend all this time outdoors, and get not even a freckle? not to mention dry wrinkled skin?
Another bothering issue, regarding to blond elves (sorry, fair haired): how come in some cases we hear that one of the parents was with dark hair (specifically Legolas mom - again, see numerous stories) and still the child turns out blond?
With us, mortals, the child will always take after the darker haired parent.
I think I have some more simpleton's questions, but let him address these first.. If he (or you) ever talks back to me :-)
Author's Response: Sorry to hear you got disturbed by Orcs, they just don't seem to be very nice. I did try something concerning the pointed ears, and the pale skin, but the conversation kept coming out unnatural. I promise I'll keep trying. However I'll be off soon for a sailing holiday in Greece. There will be time to write, I assume, but no internet acces. Sorry to keep you waiting! Thanks for your review
You promised it won't get to be depressing at the end, right?
Her questions and thoughts makes me very suspicious....
He's not going to forsake his immortality and kin, right?
Author's Response: lol. Good to hear your drawn in. It would be a waste to tell you what is going to happen. Just, don't worry too much :P
Don't break my heart, Ndil! Keep updating, please! Love you!
Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! No heart break has been intended! I am in Austria right now, celebrating my summer break. I try to find time to update, but there is so much to do. I also spend quite some time trying to expand the light conversation between Legolas and Iris, but I can't find the right tone anymore. I put up a new chapter. It's short, but things are drawing to an end... Thanks!!!
"And obviously I cannot refuse to obey a plea from a reviewer"
I beg to differ...
I asked to hear the answers to the on going questionnaire...
Iris questioned Legolas for two more hours, of which we did not get a single detail... I am sure there were quite some juicy items there.... You owe us :-)
And as for them becoming an item, well, as long as Either Legolas gets to sail west when Iris's time is up, or the story ends with "and they lived happily ever after", I am pleased. You see, deep down, very hidden from all eyes, I am quite the mushy type... :-)
Thanks you for an enjoyable story.
Author's Response: I owe you an apology then, although I honestly misunderstood the question :P Maye I will figure out what more has been said on that night, maybe not. If I do I'll let you know. And concerning the happy ending.... I guess I don't differ from you on that... So don't worry about it, I won't try to turn this into something depressing or deep. That would just be, well, depressing... wouldn't it?
Are they going to end up "an item"?
I'll hate to see this turning into your typical "Mary-Sue", although the humor here is quite catching.
I am left smiling broadly at this coversation.
Please let be a bit longer, and please, please, let us hear it?
Author's Response: Well, I guess it's never been real hard to guess where this story could be going. And yes, that is where it is going. I hope the coming chapters won't be too much of a dissapointment. And obvioulsy I cannot refuse to obey a plea from a reviewer, so the next chapter had just been posted! Thanks a lot for reviewing, it really is appreciated!
“ Do Elves ever have a midlife-crisis?”
Sorry for the lack of reviews, Ndil; I haven't abandoned the story, I'm still following. I've just had a busy period.
This is still a fresh and fun take on the standard girl-from-our-time-goes-to-ME plot; your OFC is likeable and interesting, and her relationships with the Fellowship are touching and realistic. I also like how you have her making comparisons to modern objects and technology, e.g. the palantir to Skype. An all-around good job.
Author's Response: Thank you again! I'm glad you found this bit funny, it was supposed to be :P. I'm also glad your still following! And the plot of this story is a 100% standard girl from our time goed to ME plot. I just try to use Iris to make up for that. Thanx!
do they have anesthesia?
Author's Response: Hi Liliesshadow, thanks for reading and reviewing!I don't quite understand the question. No anesthetics are used in this chapter. They only get mentioned because Iris had been given some back in her own world when she had her bike crash. I guess the Rohirrim may very well have given their patients something, like alcohol, to lessen the pain, but I chose to not let them in this situation. You'd need to big a stock for such an immense number of patients and there probably wouldn't be enough time. I hope this answers your question!
Don't worry, no-one will quit on you. It is possible to write of a girl-in-Middle-earth with a tragic past and have it work. You introduced it well, here. Iris has not forever angsted on about her being a fosterling, and is a pleasant character. And of course such tragic road accidents do happen. There is an accident blackspot not far from where I live which has claimed whole families or individuals each year.
This is still up to your usual standard. It is not the subject matter, but how it is written which is important.
Wel done. :)
Author's Response: Thanks again! You are the most loyal reviewer on this site! There is another update coming soon...
Firstly, if you hadn't said anything, I wouldn't have realised that English isn't your second language :-)
Secondly, I agree with xFanarix - I don't feel like this is "just another Tenth Walker". It's funny, for a start; far too many GIMEs just leap straight into the angst and romance. I have to say, falling into ME whilst dressed in ski attire isn't something I've come across before! ;-)
Well done. I'll keep reading.
Author's Response: Hi Narya, thanks for reading and reviewing. I hope you'll keep enjoying it. I guess the good thing about writing in a foreign language versus speaking that language is that at least no one notices the accent. So I just have to try to keep my grammar clean, and only microsoft knows how often I use my spelling checker :P. Don't ever hesitate to tell me if I messed up somewhere. Thanks!
I'm still liking this. It might be *just another tenth Walker*, but it's not. There is a lot of thought and depth behind your writing and Iris' thoughts, and you put that across very well. It's also very readable.
Women were not made for things like this.
I still think the way you write Iris within the Fellowship is charming and amusing.
When had she started to feel interested in a bearded dwarf that hid in a cloud of smoke?*Snort!* whatever it was Aragorn gave her, I'll have a pint!
I'm still liking this, it is very refreshingly written. Her thoughts, and mental flailing about are very realistic. Very interesting speculation on why the Ring is not touching her with it's malice too.
There are just a couple of time when you use the word 'faith' and I think you mean fate?
you are not destined to change the faith of the ring"
Iris felt her faith was set.
Still most enjoyable!
Author's Response: Yes you're right, I definitely did mean 'fate'. Thank you for pointing that out to me! I often confuse words when they sound the same, but have to be spelled different. Thanks again for reading and reviewing!
I await with baited breath for your next installments. ;) Very nice, I love the way you are mixing both the movies and the books into the descriptions. Also, I have always wondered what would happen if the characters found out that in another time they were really just that-book characters. :P I was going to attempt that at some point, but now you're headed (or so it seems) in that direction I don't have to. Keep it up!
Author's Response: I am glad you came back to read the new chapters . Thank you for your second review. I do indeed mix the movies and the books. I absolutely love the books, but at some times I prefer the speed at which things happen in the movie. And I guess I just donít have the time to write a Tolkien sized Trilogy. You made me realize I have concentrated too much on Iris her reaction to the book thing; how unfair of me! Iím going to ask the proper members of the Fellowship now how they feel about itÖ
I just want to say your observations in this chapter are brilliant, and ones people tend to ignore in these stories.
There is something about death. Whenever someone dies, all the others that have died before come back to memory. It’s easy to cry at a funeral of someone you haven’t known. Death just grips around and grasps anyone within its reach.
Very acute, and very true.
Also full marks for her recognizing the constellations as familiar, and realizing this essentially means she is on Earth - and looking for aircraft lights, or satellites. The lack of plane lights especially would be something that would nag at me without quite knowing why, the same in the day, no contrails, - something's missing, but what?
I'm enjoying this very much, you definitely have a talent and it feels like you have really placed yourself in the position of *being* in Middle-earth, therefore the reactions and thoughts of the character are totally realistic.
A great job!!
Author's Response: Youíre very prompt when it comes to reviewing! By the time you reviewed I had barely managed to sort out the order of the chapters (I posted them in the wrong order at first). Thanks again, I am glad youíre still enjoying it. I have indeed spent much time imagining what it would be like to really be in Middle Earth. Iím glad these daydreams are actually paying out in the story. Good, that means I officially have an excuse to fantasize all day long
I saw that English is not your first language, but I think it is very well written regardless. As someone else observed, there are many native speakers of English who cannot write as well! When it comes to 10th walker stories I'm pretty skeptical, but so far I am enjoying your tale.
Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing. I'm glad you have enjoyed it this far, I hope it won't become a dissapointment in the future.
Really good love. ;)
You write very well for someone that is not native to the English language.
Like Sian, I love this prospective.
For some reason think you have hiked and had a similar form of being trapped in a cave experience? (I have been trapped in a cave- felt kind of the same way, insomnia, hunger, soreness, so-on. Though- I wish I would have had Pippin teaching me a new language. :D)
I am enjoying this story!
Author's Response: Thank you for your kind review! Iíve never been trapped in a cave, but I have done my share of hiking. I know of the joy that it brings, and the soreness afterwards. Once I got lost in this humongous (or so I thought it was) forest in Switzerland, though. I live quite literary above a supermarket, so I only know this feeling of being hungry on Sundays (when all shops are closed here). Itís a pain to come back from a field-hockey match and find the fridge empty. But that just caused by my own stupidity. If ever Iíd be trapped in a cave I think Iíd wish for the presence of Pippin. I usually have a slight preference for the Elf, the Men or the Dwarf, but when youíre stuck in something dark an creepyÖ A cheerful hobbit will be best company, I suppose. Thanx for reading, Thanx for reviewing!
I'm really liking this - the way you're writing this is different...the reactions of all the characters and their descriptions are very realistic. Your OFC is a good one. yes, there are some words and sentences that a beta would go through with you, but really not that much. It's stylish and readable and very enjoyable.
I like her feeling she shouldn't leave that board in Moria, a kind of gut feeling that it did not belong there, and her thoughts of the Fellowship and theirs of hers.
Definitely don't worry about writing this, keep going - you've got a lot of talent there, so keep stretching it, and let your confidence grow.
Well done!! :)
Author's Response: Thanks Again! Youíre definitely boosting my confidence here :)
I really like this, and am tending to agree with your second reviewer-don't worry about writing a tenth walker fic. It's not worth it. In fact, I think this is a delightful twist on the usual Mary-Sue/tenth walker story and will be looking for more.
Also, I love the fact that your protagonist is not the most wonderful, skillful person you would ever want to meet. It is quite refreshing to have a 'real' protagonist.
Keep it up!
Author's Response: Thank you! Itís absolutely wonderful to wake up and find that someone has left such a kind review. Iíll definitely write on and Iíll post more. Thanks!
Re: Beta reader. Have you checked Owlett? She posted on the homepage, under the beta readers thread.
She's studying to be and English teacher as she has said. I think there are a few others on there as well, if she is busy.
Good luck, and don't stress too much about writing a tenth walker or whatever. All writing is great practice and the more you write, the more your ideas and style evolve. Keep going because there is something about your style which is very readable, and I think you could make your character very likable and endearing.
Author's Response: Thank you again, I had not noticed her post yet. We will see what happens. I've written a lot today :) Take care