I liked it --- short and sweet (well, I dunno is “sweet” is the right word, but I liked the alteration :P). And it totally owns my poetry.
What was the source of such dismay,
to think the world so cold and grey?
I really particularly liked the last too lines, clever. Way to go!
Author's Response: Yeah, short is about right! :D Your couplet is interesting and thought-prokoking. I've had this on my mind for a while, and thought I may as well post it! Thanks! meerkatalex
It's simple, which is nice. It might be a little more satisfying to read if it weren't in freeverse format. (Not denying freeform isn't fun, but sometimes a poem will benefit from rhyming). Overall, my first impression was favorable, and it slightly reminded me of the Raven by Poe. Practice makes perfect. NZ
Author's Response: Thank you for your reviews! They are lovely and full of tips and hints and constructive critisism, which is very helpful! Good luck in your own writing! meerkatalex