You switched tenses. It started in first person then abruptly changed in to first person. It makes confusing to the reader as to what is going one.
Author's Response: i know. i just like to switch people's veiws, which will be warned in a thing like this ***brom pov-I, me=Brom*** or just ***brom pov*** sorry if it is confusing, but i like to make it so people get most of what the book people are thinking about a event. i get kinda frustrated when a book is only centered on just one person's view...and i also add in no pov parts, which would be in italic but i dont know how to start and stop italic on this sight. sorry if i confuse you with the story povs! hope you had a good thanksgivin', and thanks for the review anyway! :-) -aryaforestmaiden
You may not care what people think or say, but it would be better if you checked your spelling.
Even on your summaries there are many typos and it looks as if you don't care enough to check them. I am not pointing out every little mistake, just that the summary is what people see first and it does look scruffy with a lot of mistakes. It does not promise a good story. I frequently find myself going back to check spelling errors.
That is just a suggestion, not a flame.
Author's Response: i only spell check the real story. thanks