At first I thought it could be better structured (by "structured", I meant with a rhyme scheme), but reading it again, I think it's better in free verse. It stays in touch with the story and Eowyn's emotions better this way. The only way I can think of that you might improve it is edit the parts that seem forced. This felt somewhat forced to me: "We had seen evidence of the plundering, burning and destroying and we all hoped desperately our men would be returning.
Even then my thoughts were churning.
The idea forming both exhilarating and concerning."
but a lot of the rhymes were really good: "I thrust my faithful sword and my aim is true.
His reign is ended but as my eyes darken it seems my life is too." is one example.
Author's Response: thanks for the more indepth feedback, i'm grateful for the hints and glad you like most of the poem. i'll take your advice into account when writing more poetry in the future. x elfenears
I loved the story aspect of Eowyn's thoughts- "fearing Grima's caress":)- but I think the poetry aspect could be better if you structured it. I loved it anyway, and the last part- so sweet.
Author's Response: hey thanks for the review, glad you liked it. can you explain the structure bit of your comment, any more hints as this was my first poem and i want to improve. ta again x
Perfection. Utterly beautiful and perfect. Thank you for sharing this.
Author's Response: Another review (cackles like smeagol) Thank YOU very much for reviewing, i like to know when people are enjoying it. This was my first shot at LOTR poetry and started off a couple of lines and ended up three pages long! glad you liked it xx
Excellent! You clearly put a lot of effort into this poem. I enjoyed it very much. Despite the Middle Earth canon, I doubt that Eowyn would have entirely given up her Shield-Maiden status--not privately, anyway.
Author's Response: Thank you very much for the review, always means alot when people like my poem. i only meant it to be a short poem but ended up three hand written pages :) i imagine Eowyn being peaceful for a while then getting bored and wanting to kick ass again lol thanks again x
Hi, elfenears! Nice to see you did post some of your work in the end, I hoped you would after I read your review for "In Defence of What We Do."
I see you're from Leeds - do you mean Leeds in the UK? If you do, that's where I was born :) I'm living in Scotland at the moment though.
Anyway, about your poem - I liked it. Eowyn is one of my favourite characters, but that wasn't the only reason; you've clearly got a strong grip on her personality and thoughts, and I felt the last two stanzas in particular showed a lot of insight into her feelings. In places I felt that you almost wanted to go into prose, though, and in places your tenses were slightly mixed up, but nothing too serious - that's the kind of thing that improves with practice.
A really good job for your first poem. I'll definitely keep my eyes open for your stuff in the future.
Author's Response: yes City of Leeds, i'm a Yorkshire lass. glad you liked my poem, i've always loved the character of eowyn and wanted to write about her ever since i first read the books. i'll work on improving and should be posting some stories in the near future. thanks for the review x
Just lovely! You should post more. Your perspective on Eowyn is very good; obviously you, as a young lady yourself, share her hopes and dreams to some extent.
"One time I wanted to be queen of gondor ruling at Aragorn’s side,
Now the most perfect thing to me was to become Faramir’s bride" Wow... so beautiful, very very well written. Please keep writing, its amazing!
Author's Response: thank you so much, it means alot that you like my work, i never thought i would get any reviews at all. i will attempt to keep writing but real life does have a way of interfering. i have another poem and a story in the pipeline. thanks so much for your review x
I really enjoyed reading this, it starred some of my favourite characters, and I especially loved the happy ending. I love reading any poetry so keep writing and I'll be happy! :)
Author's Response: Thank you for the review, i'm so glad you enjoyed it. i have to say it had my favourite characters in aswell but as these change all the time its not hard to include them!!! i'm always one for happy endings even if there is vast amounts of angst in the meantime. thanks again!
I absolutely loved this! The last verse actually gave me goosebumps! Excellent work! I really hope to see more poetry from you. This is going on my favorites!
Author's Response: thanks so much!!!! my first ever review woooo and such a nice comment. i'm really glad you enjoyed it and seemed to affect you in a good way. i was told by one person it was good and another that it was bad so i was really nervous about posting anything on here but now you've made me happy. i will try and write more poetry and i have a story in the works. THANKS for the review x