Very well done story. Your ability to paint a hugely detailed picture with few well chosen words is so admirable.
Author's Response: Moria's a fascinating place. Full of ancient memory, hidden places to find and stuff of nightmares. Of course, Legolas is fascinating too, so they go well together. :D Thank you for reading!
Very good! The atmosphere you created really works well within the story.
I thought the character descriptions, and their dialogue too, was spot on.
Author's Response: I always am afraid that I won’t get the dialogue and character right; it makes me very happy you think so. Thanks so much for your comments! :D
Isn't this new look crazy? They don't have story of the momont anymore! *Cries* Alright, It's okay. I guess.
Oh, and great story! That is after all what a review is for. For the story. Seriously, Kitt, smack me. Right here *points to back of head* Hard.
Ooooh, I enjoy the atmosphere of this story. I could easily imagine it in my mind. Well done.
Author's Response: Danke for reading! Ah, the atmosphere. I scared myself while writing it... Really, the way Tolkien wrote the Moria chapters was so *haunting*, isn't it? I wanted to stem off of it, buuut it comes no where near as good as Tolkien's. Again, thank you!!! :D
Oh yesh! Legolas sounds macho rather than la-di-da as I have read in some other stories! However what's best about it is that he is not too macho, if you know what I mean. Aragorn speaks exactly like he does in the books - I struggle with that, so well done!
Author's Response: Well, I struggle constantly with making Legolas *not* la-di-da. Oh yeah, I love that he's somewhere inbetween air-headed and mancho. But he's so in-between things he's hard to write! I'm glad Aragorn spoke alright. Thanks so much for reading! -Kitt
Oooh...creepy stuff, very atmospheric! Well done.
Author's Response: I hoped to make it a little creepy. Thanks! Now the way Tolkien did it always gave me the creeps: tons of rock over their head in abandoned mines Gandalf knows well is overrun by demons and one wrong step and they could be lost forever… and then they hear a distant doom, doom… Sorry ramble. *g* I appreciate your comments. -Kitt
That was intense. I like the last line. You will do no harm. Not so long as I watch. That was good! I think you have great potential and everything in this story flowed nicely. I liked it.
Author's Response: Glad you liked it. I thought the Moria chapters very dark and intense; I tried to capture that somewhat here, but certainly not as well as Tolkien. Your kind words have made my day, really they have. -Kitt ; )
You have a pleasant writing style: it's appropriately formal without being stilted. I have two nitpicks though:
I couldn't make head or tail of this part "Two days – more or less, he could not say – they had wandered in Moria".
Shouldn't the last line be three sentences rather than two?
While this story was a little plotless it wasn't pointless (so the plot can't matter that much, can it?) and I think you had Legolas nicely in character.
Author's Response: I had more in mind to invoke a feeling that carry out a plot, and that does shame me somewhat. Still, I’m glad it’s not pointless. : ) Yes, I will pick over that sentence. Thank you for taking your time to read and be constructive. I appreciate it! -Kitt
i wonder ... what if gollum HAD attacked the fellowship?
Very good story.
Author's Response: There is an endless supply of interesting (and frightening) what-ifs. Ooh, but yours is a good one - if Gollum had tried to attack them alone, he might not have gotten very far, unless he got to Frodo and the Ring first. Hmm. I am tempted tp explore that idea.... Well, thanks for reading! -Kitt : )
How different Middle Earth history would have become if either Legolas or Aragorn had, without thought, sent a dagger whirring across the darkened cavern.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! Oh my, that releases several plot bunnies. : ) -Kitt