Okay, I just have to say, I nearly died when I read "it could be seagulls." Seriously. Took me a while to find the composure to continue. This is truly brilliant. Frightening and bizarre and deeply, deeply troublesome on a seriously-questioning-my-sanity level, yet brilliant.
Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing. I have the deepest admiration for the writing of "Once More, With Feeling": I wish I could be 15% as funny.