I am so glad that you've decided to join the crazy world of fanfics and congratulate you on having the courage to do so. I think you have a wonderful imagination and with practice you'll end up dazzling us with some wonderful tales.
However I do have to agree with the others: spelling and grammar. The biggest turn off for me when reading a new story is a lack of either. As much as an author could have a fantastic story to tell it's hard to get into it if I'm constantly noticing errors. Brush up on that and I'm sure you'll do just fine.
Keep it up!! I want to see exactly where your creativity can take us all.
gosh, it's daunting writing that first story, isn't it? You're not sure how to tackle it, or if it will make sense, or if people will read and enjoy it. And, having posted it, you find yourself sitting on the edge of your seat waiting for that first review (and hoping it's not a bad one).
So well done to you for writing and posting this in the first place!
As for the fic itself: you tackled a difficult subject for your first fic, and I admire your courage for it! Poor Frodo, having lost his parents so tragically and at such a young age. And being with that very unpleasant Miss Honeysuckle when he heard the news, too. I felt very sorry for him.
You might want to think about developing the scene a little more, though, because (in this fic) Frodo was barely informed of his parents' deaths (by some random stranger) when he was packed off to Brandy Hall. It would have been better for Frodo to have a relative from Brandy Hall tell him what happened, and to be with him when he grieved. Hobbit families are generally close-knit, so this would be more in keeping with their ways.
You do need to work on grammar and spelling, m'dear. and there were some contemporary words in the fic that I don't believe hobbits would have used (hon, sweetie, vitamins).
Don't worry about the criticisms too much just now - plot and character development, grammar, etc are all things that will improve as your writing develops. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about - my first story wasn't structured nearly as well as yours ...
Best of luck with your writing, and I'm glad to welcome another writer of hobbit fics to the world of lote fandom.
Kara's Aunty ;)
That was so good!! I haven't yet had the pleasure of reading a story about Frodo as a wee young Hobbit, so this is great! I love that you can capture emotion so well :) Keep it up!
Author's Response: Hey! Thanks!!! :) thanks for reading and reviewing!!!
I generally don't read hobbit stories. Nothing against hobbits, I'm just an elf fan is all. I have to agree with MaeGovannen. Lots of spelling and grammer errors. My advice to you if you are serious about writing is to read. Read, read, read. That's the best way to learn or so I have come to discover. Don't just tell the story, show us. Paint a picture. Use deeper details about places and people. Dialog is good, but it isn't the entire story. If you are serious, don't stop. The best thing you can do is write. It makes for good practice.
Hey there! thanks for reviewing my story :)
Now, this has got to be the first fanfic that I have ever read about Frodo! Haha, just wanted to share that :D
I would suggest you check some of the spelling errors and I would put some more detail into Frodo's thoughts (in particular). If his parents died, I think he'd be more than sad- he'd be devastated right? so, fix some spelling errors and don't be afraid to be more descriptive- otherwise it's a great story!
Author's Response: Will do! :) Finally someone reviewed!!!