Yes, it is short, but it IS great. I'll suggest rereading the story, just for spelling, grammer and names. I think it was this chapter, or another one, where you accidently typed 'Raina' instead of 'Gwin'!
Author's Response: Thanks so much :D I've been meaning to...Yeah, I have other side projects I'm working on, I get the names mixed up a lot :)
Haha, sibling rivalry, can't back outta it... *smiles* It's good you are adding these small 'stories' about the relationship between the children, so the readers know the personalities better!
Author's Response: Lol, yeah, I pulled from some of my experiences with my siblings, haha. I always liked knowing a characters background, it makes it less confusing I think.
soz, didn't review this chapter yet, that was brilliant! I thought it was a heart felt chapter, I really enjoyed it!
Author's Response: That's o.k. Yeah, I really didn't like writing this chapter, it probably wouldn't be here, but it's kind of a necessary chapter. Thanks for reading!
I think there might have been otters too...I think...?? Well, that was really good!! please write more!
Author's Response: Well that's good. I think I'll go to middle earth to see all the lil otters then ^_^ I will keep writing!! Probably not very fast but still...
This is a daring concept, and I'm very curious to see where you go with it. Will Aragorn be less willing to risk it all with the Fellowship since he has a family? Considering all that, the story should probably be labeled AU.
I have to agree with NiRi that the elvish dialogue is distracting. It would work as well just written in English, perhaps with the tag "she greeted him in Elvish" or "slipping into her mother's language as she chattered on", etc.
Do keep going!
Okay, first off, and no personal offense intended, but I really cannot get into a story that is written in mostly badly translated elvish then translated. It's jarring and distracting. This is all translation anyway. Trust me on this, it's better to just write it in English. We'll know that elves are speaking in elvish (and really does it matter to the story if we know what language Aragorn and his children are speaking every second?). Putting it all in English would really help make this more readable.
I'm not sure where you got your names from, but most of them aren't correct Sindarin (which is what they would be in the third age.) Vornwe is Quenya and the others... Are you using Arwen-undomiel.com for your names? Because that is one of the worst sites for elvish names and phrases. Some of it is okay, some of it is blatantly wrong. Better to avoid it.
For naming, I would use this site: http://www.elffetish.com/SindaFrame1.php The site owner knows his stuff and it's accurate. I think this has potential. I just think you are concentrating so much on the elvish language that instead of being drawn in, your readers will be turned off by it. That is what I have noticed in my three years in fandom anyway.
Good luck with your tale!